Thursday, September 21, 2017

1. Born to Make You Happy.

One more day, Jonathan opens his eyes as his alarm goes off. Five thirty in the morning, two hours before he's gotta be at work; enough time to put in work into his future. He jumps out of bed at once. No snoozes allowed. There is only one alarm set up, actually. There is no time to wait. Life is too short and precious to be wasted, is Jonathan's motto. Step up or step out of the way.
At twenty-seven years of age, single, and a college student, Jonathan still looks ahead for a positive and bright future -- and he should! He has a great support system outside of his family circle; he is back in Nursing school as he juggles a demanding, but flexible job. There is no special someone to come home to, yet, but he is sure it won't be any much longer when the right man will walk into his gym and it'll be love at first zumba. Of course, it must be a successful man. Preferably a Doctor. Taller than 5'10" and fit. Not muscles required, but strong enough to pick him up; Jonathan expects to be carried into their home for the first time as a married couple.
Tall, tanned, and handsome is the description, if you must have one. Jonathan is very specific about it; he's not picky, he just knows what he wants. Very valid point. Standards are always a great base for a relationship.

Jonathan has always known what he wants in Life. It is a major pet peeve of his when a man, or anyone in general, does not know who they are, where or what they're doing. It's unacceptable. "We have a short amount of time on earth, people, do not disregard a second!" He advises his friends. "Live and let live."
But if there is nothing that Jonathan has done wrong, why does he cry at night? He is happy with where he's at. He is genuinely happy for his friends that have achieved and continue to aim for higher education and goals. He does not wish any ill on anyone. He doesn't even have anyone he can think of to wish wickedly upon. His calendar and own goals do not allow him spare time to be malicious, not that he is.
So why hasn't he found anyone to share his happiness and love? Why do all males he's encountered along his way tend to be dogs? They have no self-respect, no values, and no goals; and if any of them has shown potential, they only want sex and to move on. And the rare species, the one that checks all boxes except for the fact that he is short. For God's sake! Jonathan is 5'10" so he cannot date anyone shorter than him! "Boy bye!" and off they go, out the door because they're not THE perfect man.

Jonathan is my best friend. We've known each other since we were nine years old. He's always been high maintenance. No surprise there. Anyone that knows him should not be surprised at all.
We lived in opposite ends of the same street which divided our school district, yet, we still remained friends. I want to believe the fact that we didn't spend so much time together is exactly why we remained friends. Now, he is not a bad person, as you must have an idea by now. He is a great dude, funny, sarcastic, smart, and realistic; a flaming queen, but a queen indeed. Not a basic bitch, no matter what I say joking around. But sometimes he is a little too much. A little too (what nowadays we call) Extra. And a little too picky. I know he hates being called that, but I am his best friend and I want the best for him. I want him to be happy. I am honest and I tell him how it is. I might be a little too frank, but I sincerely believe I must. Sometimes we oversee great opportunities because we are fixated on an illusion. An ideal. Something that may never happen.
I am also twenty seven years old. I have been married for six years now, and I have one-year-old twin boys. My husband owns two restaurants after almost ten years of hard work. I work from home while I raise our children. I've joined a book club as a hobby, a distraction outside of the house, recommended by my husband. I live the white picket fence dream. I will have the mini-van carpools, soccer games, recitals, PTA and Booster Club meets type of Life. I am one of the lucky ones, I admit, and I want the same for Jonathan because I know this is what he also yearns for. I want to exchange stories of our day over dinner or glass of wine while our children nap; I want to go for brunch on Sundays after church. I do want all of this to happen for him. But it seems like he doesn't have a clue when it comes down to Reality.
Listen, I must call it how it is, and Jonathan is not a really good looking man. He is not ugly by any means, no, but at some point in our lives we gotta acknowledge we aren't Abercrombie models. It is great to have confidence, but at the same time, we must be realistic and honest with ourselves. It is admirable to have standards out of respect because you deserve it. But let's lower some of them, or bend them a little, so we can get to know amazing people that we may not get to meet if the bar is way up high.
Once, I was looking for the bag of sugar in the kitchen at work. In my mind, I had this image of what the bag looked like, and that was all I was looking for. I pushed out of the way a new creamer and the sugar that came in a different package just because it was not what I had pictured. If only Jonathan could understand this metaphor and give it a shot! At least he could be making new friends, if anything.
But for now, I only get to write about it and hope for the best to come true for him. There is someone out there for him, I know it. I just pray that he slows down and looks closer. Time is ticking, and in a world full of shallow and hateful bottoms, he is most likely to become the single guncle we all have over for Thanksgiving.

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